Why I Let Others Know I Am Autistic Online When It Comes to Dating

I’ll be going out on a date soon. I really dislike dating because it generally feels like an interview. I feel like I MUST make eye contact, be ‘bubbly’, ask a lot of intriguing questions, and more. I wish dating could be skipped altogether and that one and another could just automatically be part of each other’s routines as if they had been for years. Who am I kidding, though? There are some things that are set up by society that must be endured.

I met this person online and he already knows that I’m autistic. You see, recently, I decided to state clearly on my online profile that I have autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Why? Well, it may give a potential neurotypical partner a chance to do a little research on the topic. Or, it may even attract other autistic people. ASD is pervasive — it impacts every part of my being. If someone has an issue with that, I’d rather they not ‘apply’.

So, will I have to make constant eye contact when I meet this potential partner? I shouldn’t have to because many people with ASD have issues with eye contact (I am one of them) and hopefully he has done a little research or already knows that. Will I have to be ‘bubbly’? No, I shouldn’t have to because I am not that kind of person. I have a flatter affect and may not fit the stereotype of a neurotypical female…because I’m not. I have my own personality and way of expressing myself.

I’m so glad I decided to state the status of my neurotype online. It means I can be myself and not worry about ‘faking it until I’m making it’. That’s not for me, and never will be.



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