Autism and structure

A year ago, I was leaving the psychiatric hospital. I was admitted because I didn’t feel safe. I really didn’t feel safe in the world. I was even hiding my medications, fearing I would impulsively overdose.

The hospital and its structured nature has always made me feel safe and relaxed, even amidst the chaos of screaming and wailing patients. Daytime activities and meals were always the same times. I knew what to expect. Is this an autistics’s ideal atmosphere? Is it weird to ask that? Many with autism like sameness and structure. I am definitely one of those people.

I was also in the hospital in July. That was the last time I was admitted. I feel okay this year. I’ll be 38 this Thanksgiving. I have no idea where I’ll be on that day. I may be home alone, so I need to make a plan, even if that is the case.

Any other autistics out there who have felt more safe in a structured environment like the hospital?

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6 comments

  1. I haven’t got autism, but I have felt safe in hospital too. At one level it’s very chaotic as you point out – lots of screaming and thumping from people in a locked room. But I felt the stimulous I was getting outside – in terror of my life, or trying to understand what was going on – I found the hospital always a safe place. Maybe not just autistic thing?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The only thing that kept me sane amongst screaming patients as well as visitors was the routine. I could make it from breakfast and know lunch would come. I was physically abused and threatened as well as judged “spoiled” for having meltdowns. For me, they don’t work. Nobody got the plugging ears at loud noises thing.

    Like

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